GoSh sOrri ah Diary.. it has been 3 days since i updated u... hmm guess what? i have changed ur outlook liao wor.. so more hao kan liao hor haha.. Okay i am juz being lame.. Now i am listening to : Faith Hill There u Be... Whoa... Mood changed.

Okay JUNE HAPPY BIRTHDAY WOR!!! i will give ur pressie soon k haha.. dont worry la.. how can i not give u pressie rite? haha 

This weekend is drastic. Why?

Firstly, thnks to The teachers in charge of sea sports, we had to rush the raft making and all.. Hmm "THANKS" AH... Feel like sitting on them lo.. fen mei mei come help me !! haha my butt not tt big..but doesnt mean ur butt big noe.. haha cos i noe u gonna slap me.. But dont everytime slap me to batam leh.... haha 

Now, i am grasping my hand together.. My mood is solemn.. I pray, yes i pray... After the tormenting struggle wif the sickness.. my "lao yi" as in my grandma's sister died... Life is so unpredictable.. i get scared.. i am not sure... i have mixed feelings.. what if, what if my beloved grandma were to also.. .Choi choi!! i dont wanna think bout it.. I learnt that we muz not take ppl for granted as we never noe what happens tomorrow.. Grandma.. I love YA!

Now for the mood change... Korean Fever unconsciously hit me hard again!! haha Goodness la.. i am so addicted to all the melo drama.. Hmm.. Then there is Won bin ... whoa My idol sia.. So flawless la.. Rock on.. Dont worry Keira Knightley and eva mendes.. u r still my idol!!!haha

Hmm over the weekend, i have pondered.. in fact i have thought thru so deeply.. and i realised... i was such a fool... I was alwayz there for u but i realised my love is juz another entertainment to u... but nevetheless i have never regretted loving u... Wish ya all the best... 

Now i am.. having to pass thru all the heavy work in sch, gradually sinking into detachment from the believe in real love.. How naive was i, alwayz searching upon true love when ppl dont even noe what exactly that is.. I mean yes ppl claimed  they yearn for true love.. but when it actually comes.. they realise its not as expected.. Then they sink deeper into shallow relationships and mistook infatuations as love.. Hmm its like wadeva..

Anyway i have better aspirations!! I have a few thoughts these few weeks.. I am so wanting to do some business jobs or consultant that travels alot.. Whoa.. that is so me la.. Anywayz.. i wan to tell australia that.. I MISS U!! haha... 

So much happened.. so much shocks.. yet i SurVIVED!! haha as in emotionally la.. and now i am like some xiao da bor.. staring and smiling at the screen.. hmm thats pretty scary ya... anywayz have to go liaoZz.. I shall end wif my story that i have written for those who have not seen.. haha i mean i took a lot effort to write ma.. of course muz hao lian abit ma haha.... Need to change the encoding to UNICODE wor.. kk SHoo!!

我们的故事
 
            就这样, 我独自一人渐渐地从你身边离去. 可能没有了我, 你也因此过得更快乐. 也许对你来说, 这样你也没有了负担, 不必再想尽一千零一个理由来远离我. 但你可知道吗? 知道我所想要的结果. 也许我在你心里已经没有位置, 但你可知道你在我心里占了那么多吗? 也许我在麻木中不惜一切地告诉自己你是真的爱我, 但这也是我唯一能盼望的结果, 不是吗?
 
            我能说出一百个理由去爱你, 但为何也能说出一百个理由去恨你呢? 坚强的我抵挡不住我对你的爱, 变得更脆弱. 你是否要让我在脆弱中用沉默来解脱一切? 是否要让我忍着眼泪, 自己在眼泪中沉没? 我所以会变得那么脆弱, 也不就是因为我真实的对待这份感情.
 
            以前的我盼望见每天的你,. 每次有人提起你的名字我就会脸红. 和你合照的照片, 怎么看来看去都不厌倦? 但盼望已被忍耐带过. 快乐也只是一瞬间的逗号, 失落才是永远的句号, 无法延续的终点. 好多时候, 我独自徘徊着, 告诉自己不会再为你而黯然泪下, 但是我做不到. 我只知道自己必须勇敢地为这份感情扮演好绝色; 知道欺骗自己是每天的早餐, 渴望是每天的午餐, 失望是每天的晚餐. 但我愿意每天这样度过, 至少知道自己还有希望的余地.
 
            如今的我已从麻木中解脱. 我一直告诉自己要忘了吧, 但为何还有眼泪停在我脸颊? 也许那眼泪是告诉自己这是最好的结局. 我不会再流泪, 不会再告诉自几你是爱我的. 我只是明白了回忆也只不过是另外一副在我脑海里的画, 是我一辈子的遗憾. 我已从你的不认真中, 清清楚楚地知道我在你心里的地位. 我并没有谴责你. 我没有权力能谴责你, 只是谴责自己很傻地付出那么多. 亲爱的为什么, 我不会再麻烦你了. 我已经了解到自己爱一个人是那么的卖力. 从回忆和明白中, 我已亲手为我们的故事写下了永恒的句号......