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Tuesday, December 14, 2004

I aM oFfiCialLy fEeLin Very Down... Cos i Am Not Able To tok to dear for like until 24th Dec... the reality of segregation really strikes me down, making me really feeling miserable... not that my life is boring or what..but is the abscence of this very important person that will just compel ur inner soul, making u feel extremely melancholy... But i guess that is something that is unique bout our relationship cos we immediately have to go through i period of obstacles...

I seriously hope i can indulge myself in several activities that can pass days quickly... hmm thats y folks, i be going to MAlacca this friday wif my parents.. er i actually volunteered.. i must be mad.. well not exactly la.. just now told dear bout that.. i can sense that dear felt extremely sad but well the 'i will miss u, just go' this six words immediately conforted my heart, but i noe it be difficult for dear.. haiz... but i just make it sounded like i was anticipating all these and waiting for dear.. so as to not dampen the already depressing situation.. haiz.. wonder how much my mum would offer me money for the trip cos i noe what to buy for dear.. the favourite things....

Haiz... it has been four days since i talked to mum.. guess she found out bout us.. well.. i just wanna tell my mum... no matter what u saw or whatever.. i will not blame u to become disappointed.. but the more impt thing is that ur son here is feeling extremely loved and delighted as never before... the past has been a sihoulette of happiness.. it was more like sorrow beneath the facade of happiness... Well.. of course i truly understand what she is capable of doing... which is to force us to separate.. hmm lets see how it goes then... hmm o wells.. my mind is in a whirl now.. its like before i hung up the phone while speaking to dear for the very last time.. i cried.. yes i cried...my frens should noe that i dont cry easily.... it was not the tears that are dripping from my eyes..but the palpitation of my heart that had ceased and thus shedding real tears literally.. i was sad.. my bro can tell.. my father could tell.. but they dont noe anything...

O wells.. i am trying to pull this period of time through which i can.. just give me time to adapt... but for now... okay mood change pls.. Come on benji boring...

okay so what to surprise dear? hmm.. was thinkin to do something special.. just now i was so childish pls.. i recorded my voice and send over to dear..haha... i sang this song that i am sure dear is gonna cry i tell u.. but well.. just wanna give the best i can give even we cannot see each other now... hmm just now watched WHITE CHICKS digital haha at home.. i donno.. i laughed like mad yet again... o gosh.. shall have some sleep now... Dear got headache... hmm.. what can i do? seriously.. the only thing i can do is just pray that dear will be fine.. and i am so worried can.. cos today dear was out all day... and i just received the call at 10 something..

So peeps.. think i gonna sleep le la... yupp! haha

|| Benji LuStEd aT 11:50 PM ||