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Sunday, March 06, 2005

Melancholy...

Thats the word for the day... I cannot believe just now i scolded my mum. She was too much. She is such an unreasonalbe person. I cannot believe i need to fucking scold her to get her realise what she said was really hurtful. She was like non stop Missile launching device.. like as if her brains cannot filter the things she should never say out. Totally crap! Like come on, she is my mother! She should be the one scolding me.

I did not quarrel wif her. She was quarreling wif my father. And i fuckin hate that. Yes they are loving, but so what? i dont really like my family anyway. I hate to go back home everyday listening to their petty quarrels.

It really hurts me. I FUCKIN DONT LIKE IT! Why cant they be more peaceful. As if my life aint bad enough. YEs they do care for me, but thats just financially and only care for me whether i am back at home or not. As if they fuckin care if i fuck around or dont go home. I dont think they even noe my presence sometimes.

But i noe they still love each other. But the rate at which my unreasonable mum shoots out from her mouth, her acidic mouth can just offset their love for each other i tell u. No one can ever imagine how bimbo and hurtful my mum is when she is angry for no apparent reason. Soon, they may even divorce. Like am i surprise? No, hell no!... Its just a matter of time.. its not a joke, its getting real. Fuck la..spoil my mood

Rite now, i seriously need someone to realise that i really aint a bad person alrite, i am just a boy that has really weird thoughts, aimless wanders and donno what i want. I need someone to guide me pls. I must get up once again. I am getting lifeless day by day. Cynical is the word. Like what the fuck? i was optimistic once was i? now i dont even want to socialise, cos i cant trust ppl easily anymore. I hate to be cheated and fucked once again. I dont need ppl to love me and tell me they fancy me or what, if u really do, prove that u can bring me back to normal again.

I need to wash my face to get myself up again.

Okay get back my jaded feelings.. tomorrow when i go to sch, i shall tell myself that the day ahead would be better. I hope it will. O before i forget..

Zhong Ming HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U! -big big hug-

|| Benji LuStEd aT 11:34 PM ||