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Sunday, March 27, 2005

Today is mixed feelings day for me... I donno if i should feel depressed or disappointed or ditched... lol

Hmm.. this is what happened..

Phone rang..

Mom: " Ben ah... this thurs alot of us wont be free to celebrate ur bdae so tonite celebrate k.."
Me: "alright"
Mom: " eh i'll buy for u cake later k... "

End of phone call

10 mins later..phone rang again...

Mom: " eh ben G.. sorry leh..i have no time to buy for u cake... aiya u so big liao don need cake la "
Me ( disappointedly but act in an its okay tone ) : "its alrite"
Mom:" K happy birthday bye "
Me: " But but..o never mind.. thanks bye "

totally dejected

And therefore today i am supposed to celebrate my birthday with my relatives but with me BUYING MY OWN CAKE...at least its something new.. o whatever la.. mom should noe that her son rite here loves cake lo.. in case she forgot... but then maybe she got her reasons la.. never mind.. at least i just bought my own cake lol... which cost me a bomb.. never mind...

Haiz so thats so called my birthday celebrated by my family.. This morning my father even better.. "Wha ur birthday very big meh.. dont need celebrate la..."

I replied: "orhx"

He smiled and said i have grown up.. ( LIKE REAL.. haha.. ) Never mind la.. thats how it should be for my 18th birthday yeah.. haha.. Anywayz for those who did read my blog in the past know that my dad dont like me... well.. as expected.. just now when my cousins were singing birthday song for me.. he went off and continued to peruse his newspaper instead..

Alright.. point taken from his actions... -speechless-

Well..he always think i am this bad boy in the house... never mind.. since u find my behavious indecorous.. there is nothing i can do... thats what i feel from my parents.. As i have mentioned earlier.. i only get financial satisfaction from my parent full stop.. no love.. no whatsoever.. well.. whatever...

Anywayz somehow.. i have been thinkin if that person remembers my birthday.. I guess that person forgets liao la..or even dont even acknowledge my existence.. i am just a play and go toy afterall..Well.. but then i still hope i could celebrate with that person even just for 1 min...
at least one sms is enough...

|| Benji LuStEd aT 8:11 PM ||