Dont PhuNk wIf Ma HeArt

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About my life

Just a blog about a confused boy

Dont phunk Wif my heart

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Saturday, April 30, 2005

Aye wells.. my blog seems to be rather dead nowadays.. er i mean have been dead... Dont think anyone is like reading... What to do .. my life aint exciting anymore.. its super boring, that i am trying to focus my attention at some objects trying to make myself happy.. seriously.. i am sinking myself into total fuckin boring life...

It has been ages since i last kissed or french kissed.. lol .. let alone say have sex..er wait did i? haha ( i am still a virgin la ) .. I am being frank.. like what the.. everything is growing moulds and getting anitique.. so antique that if i put my lips in ebay.com, ppl will be like which lips from which ERA?! haha... I cannot believe i dreamt of myself kissing at strangers, yes just strangers.. i just wanna tell them can u just stand right there and let me hug u tight and a gentle kiss will do...

CONCLUSION: Benji lacks love..

But then... recently talked to Summer and i suddenly found a different pursue in life... hehe.. TRAVELLING.. thats my new target!!! why am i always trying to find love when travelling is so obtainable and is as orgasmic experience... O gosh.. we be the next Amazing race partner.. whereby we are labelled "open friends" haha.. it be so fun pls.. going to my ultimate fave Australia, as well as scenic Scotland, scuba dive in Maldives... okay i am getting excited!!!

FIRST PITT STOP: A levels... Why? cos after A levels then can travel ma... ITs a MUST!!!

Alright rubbish talking aside, o shit.. i just remembered i am not using my mom's laptop..otherwise can show u all some rubbish pics i took randomly.. haha... next post ba...

Yesterday was fun man..teachin my class gals how to pass Baton effectively.. lol.. I was like keep asking them to try again try again..cos the standard was not there.. lol.. i think they per cher wif me.. but then they made it! Because they so enthu to train for the Relay, must have correct attitude ma.. and Fernie once again proven herself " A MAN! " congrats.. lol.. i must say i was really impressed by their eagerness.but not their timing for 100m la ah.. so depressing.. haha..

but i know you all can do it!!!

Went to cut hair then meet Zach.. We were like catching up with each other since its been ages since we last talked.. And he is such a sweetie bro.. hehe... then later his boyfren, Ralph joined us.. and i must say i hate to walk in threes.. Good la.. lover come, kor is eschewed!! never mind.. i understand la.. But can like pls acknowlege i was there..haha.. keep PDA.. buay tahan.. okay i am just jealous...cos i wont have any gf/bf as far as i know..

but i must say.. seeing both of them so sweet and happy.. i give up..haha.. both of u can get married soon la ah... cute couple..hehe...

Went home.. watched some horror movie and Bridget Jones wif Patrick Star.. haha..and then fell asleep.. Boring... Bleah...

|| Benji LuStEd aT 11:17 AM ||

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Yes i noe.. its been like so long since i blog...

I shall first thank the blardy weather to hit a whooping 340c for the past few days, almost depleteing all my brain cells.. Have been very moody these few days.. not in the best of mood... my sch life is slowly getting up my nerves.. everything's not smooth sailing for me.. I am dejected now.. just came back from the semi-finals for 4x100m.. didnt perform well... disappointed in myself for not having enough willpower, for not focusing.. thats the worse run i ever did..EVER...

Everything seems to be topsy turvy right now..but i still remain strong.. i am so gonna brace up and kick arse for the finals for 12x100m relay as well as my long jump.. need to get back my athletic spirit! o gosh.. i feel so 'Nua' right now..as in everything just collapse right in front of me.. not even my future is inspiring..

O well.. i shall stop my whining...

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS FOR THE WEEK

--> Elton John is like finally getting married to David Furnish ( happy marriage )
--> Angelina Jolie is seen with Maddox and Brad Pitt ( cat fight wif Aniston soon )
--> Britney is pregnant ( like who cares? it may not be her husband's anyway )
--> Pamela Anderson turns over a new leaf ( try harder, although she can always deflat her boops )

All right thats the major gossip headlines for this week.. O and i read a book on Sociology.. i am fuckin interested pls.. next time i shall major in this subject.. LAstly, Val's going off for Perth.. Happy Holidays!! I demand pressies hehe.. I also had a plan for some days of my june holidays.. hehe..gonna go try join some community service and help up the orphans.. i mean i dont care if its counted for CIP or not.. i just wanna do something meaningful.. and my class will be like helping out in the ZOO!! Love that place since i was a kid.. alright ciaoz

|| Benji LuStEd aT 8:14 PM ||

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

After reading xia xue's latest entry bout her fren's funeral, i felt so so so sorry for her fren... I guess his name is JW or something.. although i have no connections with her maybe a brushed through 3rd degree fren, i can sense her wrath, her impatience with the pastor. The pastor actually evangelised during the funeral! Don't ever fucking say its OKAY to do so.. such insensitive remarks just means u need to be fucked somewhere..

quoted from her site: "like to take this opportunity to urge those present to accept Christ, or well, not be able to go to heaven like Jingwei did."

What the fuck!

I feel real real disappointed at the whole religion issues going on....I especially agreed vehemently the part where she said: "If it is true that dying means God wants to take us to him, then how come pastors take medication when they have terminal cancer? Just go la." Cheers for her please...

I hate the fact ppl just continues to say how omnipotent god is, and this whole segregation of people going to this supposedly magnificent and freedom place called heaven as well as the totally burnt but still 'hot' place called hell.. So, who is to remain on earth?

I say we shall all meet in hell first before we decide who goes heaven... Goodness la... I know the whole arguement on religion is gonna be endless cos they still have this thing called bible to back them up.. but i dont care.. seriously this whole issue is gonna reach a point of disaster.. i would suggest everyone just dont ever argue with religion anymore.. its like .. whatever la ah... i am sick and u can like see how tpjc.net forum is flooded with the topic on Christianity..

But then i believe there are good christians around la.. i mean i have witness some myself including Ah lek my chem teacher..seriously... but pls dont ever let my impression change yet again..

And today i had the biggest ever banana in my whole life!!! lol.. it was so so so huge that i could not like swallow the whole god damn thing... and i feel strains in my mouth.. alright.. its getting suggestive but i am serious k.. thats the biggest i ever seen !!! peng..

Goodness, my mum bought so many DVDs from Johore.. lol Still got WET DREAMS 2!!! wahaha... er.. my mum jolly well told everyone of us to watch everything.. Even SEX IS ZERO?! O god.. she is one uncensored lady..always remained as G rating lol.... never mind..shall tell her to put aside some of the movies that are unhealthy for my bros...

But then, i predict in months to come, their hormones start to rage... aiya they will still find ways to watch one la...This second bro of mine is really pushing me to the limits...i have warned him countless times NOT TO WATCH DIRTY STUFFS.. and guess what? what is the "Jap Sch girl giving ----- " doing in my fuckin RECYCLE BIN!! i am irate....

How the fuck they get access to my com.. i should change the password.. someone pls tell me how to educate this horny bro of mine.. yes he has a girl fren and thats when i starts to worry when visual stuffs becomes practical, making all the SKills.. A, B, C, D up to use.. -sweats- I dont care whether they had sex or whatever.. but pls pls pls for now..ABSTINENCE!

someone suggestion pls!?

|| Benji LuStEd aT 8:00 PM ||

Monday, April 18, 2005

Heres what i have learnt....

Chocolates make me hormonal imbalance.. lol

Edison told me chocolate makes u happy..

I tried and i became depressed.. y is it so? hmm.. then after the second bite.. i became worried.. donno bout what fuck.. after a while.. i am jovial... some wrong chemical reactions in my body haha...am i supposed to eat as much chocolate until i climax lol! whatever...

Anywayz.. i dont dare to face her anymore.. i was pissed today because of someone and that is so not funny... I am becoming really cynical.. i need guidance.. i have reached to such an extent that even the person i really like, i can dont wanna get into a relationship with that person... its like.. i keep having this imminent feeling, like anticipating something bad going to happen.. its gonna be waste of time bla bla.. but my heart tells me to follow what i feel.. what a predicament...

How do one really know what u felt is love? Maybe is cause ppl like the feeling but it does not mean its love, there is just this feeling that makes u having the zsa zsa zsu... intricating indeed..

But then my conclusion is, the more u follow ur heart, the more tendency u get fucked and is total self destruction....

Hmm... a penny of thoughts... Geez...

Benji
Boy in distress

|| Benji LuStEd aT 7:15 PM ||

Saturday, April 16, 2005

I had a really weird dream lol...

Its like i actually dreamt of movie listings throughout.. haha... as in i went to purchase tix for the Singapore International Film Festival and the person was like scrolling thousands of movies.. then i saw Butterfly.. which is what i wanted to watch eagerly and its rating change from R21 to UNDER 17.. lol.. i was so happy and went to purchase it and when i went in.. its a documentary of evolution of Butterflies.. like how boring.. and the next thing i knew.. i woke up.. haha..

Er.. so weird.. but anyways it shows my desperation in watching this LEsbian movie from HK... ARggg.. can someone teach me how to get into R(a) movies? !!!

Anywayz.. i messaged this person yesterday.. hopeeverything goes well.. hehe

|| Benji LuStEd aT 10:28 AM ||

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Just read XiaXue's blog and i am super duperly jealous that she attended the Singapore Fashion Festival.. like totally fucking jealous!!! Look at all the gorgeous people, i really wish i could attend one of these one day.. i mean who do not want to go to some Fashion Shows that are really world class... But then i scared later i attend such events, i may go mad.. its like their body and figure can really certify and trigger my little visual orgasm...yummy

Alright.. these few days have been pretty busy with ma sch work and stuffs... was studying wif Gary just now and guess what, we had the same spontaneous reaction when we went into one of the toilet of Takashimaya.. Some freaking old guy was like wanking openly and we both gave that "spare me" look... yucks... totally gross.. Cant get him out of my mind... yucks... Pui! like so old liao still jerk her jerk there.. then later complain say need Viagra..can his wife just fuck him so hard that he dies and get all his money.. what a horny senile thing...

O and today read this news bout this guy 50 liao want to return the bride to this Matchmaking Agency like as if the woman is a commodity or something.. eew.. totally disgusted and despise him.. firstly, that woman never say you cannot erect already very good liao k.. can still tahan your already crumpled and saggy body... eww.. Then you think matchmaking is perfect package one meh? you think what.. defective goods ah then can throw back.. what has humanity turned into? and 50 is most probably those lao chee kor pek trying to get their last fuck and coincidentally have a family before he dies happily..yikes..

alright back to sch.. sch once again has a reason for me again.. lol... like for such a fuck up sch, you need something for u to be motivated and continue surviving.. And i am so gonna kill Bubu i tell you.. he is such an Ass.. everytime make me so paiseh in front of her.. kaoz... haha Shant elaborate further... like keep asking me to take her number bla bla.. i mean.. its like hmm.. how should i explain.. once she know me, she probably classify me more as bro or something you understand? Alright i am just cynical.. but at least i noe i have something to look forward to... lol..

|| Benji LuStEd aT 7:55 PM ||

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Freaking Shag right now.. just came back like since sat morning...

Sat Morning was Sea Sports ORientation Camp... it was rather boring at first due to the administrative stuffs but then it turned out not bad when the peeps get to Kayak.. Fuckin hilarious looking at how the ppl struggle to balance themselves... Sumo wrestled wif Alan.. I WON!! lol.. Then i carried Fernie like for at least 100m.. IT WAS THE LONGEST 100M RACE I EVER HAD..lol she is fuckin 'light' pls lol... its fortunate for her husband... Halfway through i had to go because of something.. hope the camp turns out well for the nite..

Then it was real wild for the whole nite till now.. Shant go over the details..cos something disgustingly gross happened to me.. never mind... then after everything.. went clubbing wif Gary, Danny and Edi...Frankie couldnt join us so..ya.. then partayed until 4am.. didnt want to go home.. so stayed over at Rick's house.. Was still feeling real bad after i quarrelled wif my mum.. and out of anger i made her cry.. shitz..but i apologised already.. She's my mum after all.. although she is real sarcastic in her words...recently i am such an ass..so easily get hurt by words..fuck myself la.. kns.. Mum forgave me though..

Although i was really tired, having sun burnts and muscle aches.. i am still bewildered or rather astonished by his house.. It was a HDB flat..but then his house is at the highest level... and turns out..its something like a PENTHOUSE.. kewl eh? got DJ room, got nice furnitures.. It was heaven i tell u... Danny went to sleep first.. then me, Edi and Rick continue to chat.. He is such a nice person pls... Then it was 6 am le.. damn tired..so went to sleep.. Guess what? me and edi were so tired, Danny left first and we woke up at 2 something pm.. gosh..

Then ate lunch and chiong back home.. whoosh... Alright time to do some homework..

all play and no work makes Ben a dull boy.. lame.. whatever la..

|| Benji LuStEd aT 5:58 PM ||

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

O wells.. i shall make it short...

Nothing much happens this week.. but perhaps i have found a new identity? as i have told Gary lol... er.. wait... as frequent readers of my blog do notice that the right hand side is a Radio Blog..especially for all of ya.. to listen and choose the songs as u browse..

So... Song Dedication anyone? i am willing to add in more songs just for you.. haha...

Alrights lets see.. this two weeks financially tight.. i cannot continue ma extravagant lifestyle for a while.. gotta save some money.. Lets see..okay this is so not me but then well..

i think i fancy a girl...-blushes-

OKAY OKAY !!!! I noe it seems impossible lol... i delibrately write that freakin sentence tiny k.. pai seh leh...

But well as usual.. no much hope.. think she is attached or lesbian la..but then..well.. its just funny for me to re enter the straight dating scene haha... this time it is maybe more than a crush? like Benji actually like girls?! haha..

like duh.. i never said i was gay what... Even though i dont mind getting into any kind of relationships..whether wif guy or wif gals..hmm.. my identity right now is under new phase.. its just that this time round its girls again... hmm.. i cannot believe i shy-ed.. tts so sissy la.. lol... aiya dont wanna talk bout it liao la.... face red liao la... kk..ciaoz..i go sleep....

|| Benji LuStEd aT 8:05 PM ||

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Alright.. Sat was tiring but fun day for me...

Met up wif Cheryl x 2.. lol.. two cheryls.. treated me Marche.. like thanks so much...really excited to see both of them.. then catched up alot with each other.. went to watch Spanglish... er two words.. "long draggy".. Then they have to head back home for some reasons.. humpf.. but then we be going clubbing soon eh...

So was waiting for Dan to finish his movie wif Di they all.. its like meet at some MRT station at 1145pm.. like wha.. haha.. so met up wif bubu first to have some mac-chat lol.. hope everything is doing fine for him...then finally met up wif Dan and Zach.. dumb di.. told me not coming liao still suddenly pop up.. but he brought me my pressies.. hehe.. So damn happy but i just refuse to show my emotions.. cos my di ma.. haha... so cute somemore the pressie..

Headed to Why Not club.. hmm.. first time visit clubs at Maxwell ma..so yeah was eager to see the ppl there.. first was we went to this KTV called legend.. then met up wif Gary...his such a nice guy la.. He was like asking me if he looks older or Danny..which i told him he is older.. but then i realised he is so young lol...oops sorry ah... Then saw Di's sister.. lol... so different pls.. then went in for free cos Dan got VIP pass.. whosh it was the Drag performance.. didnt noe it was so damn happening..love love... but then we proceeded to HAPPY after a while... the songs not very nice cos its Trance that kind..but then we are more into looking around the crowd la.. went in like only 1 something am? cos it was full house..

hmm.... Then partayed till 4 something like that... i was so tired that i slept..Sorry ah Di... then stupid mum messaged me wif total Caps lock.. "U R GETTING OUT OF HAND..DONT COME BACK" i was like alright sounds nice.. whatever..heck her la..cos more impt thing is gary lost his pack of cards.. so gotta help him look around ma... Then finally at the very last moment outside 7 eleven, we found the card.. phew.. and that was the whole day of Sat.. totally escstatic...

Reached home around 5 to say hello to grandma who asked me to eat breakfasT haha.. she was the sweetest... and so it is... happy? definitely.

|| Benji LuStEd aT 3:07 PM ||